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wish i may
i might
make a wish upon a star tonight..
email.
me.
i'm brooke. a short, fatish, bisexual, feminist, pacifist, very-liberal activist. i have 4 cats. and 2 computers, 2 kayaks, 1 masters degree, multiple backpacks, and way too many books.
i live in the most beautiful eugene, oregon. i'm currently disabled due to treatment resistant severe depression. i've been blogging since election day of 2000.
i'm born and raised in the mountains of southwestern virginia. i could join the daughters of the american revolution, i don't think they'd like me cause i hear they like to throw tea parties instead of rallies and revolutions.
links.
lane co. bill of rights defense committee (lcbordc) ~
bill of rights defense committee ~
chel ~
lisa ~
carrie ~
cinnamon
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Tuesday, August 12
when the fuck did i get old? i think it was while i was back east.. because all of a sudden my back hurts, my arches hurt, my forearms hurt. i'm nearly making noises everytime i get up. *agh*
i'm doing my current best to fight of getting sick again. it looms in every corner, waiting for my guard to be down. i can sense it in every day, moment to moment.. it waits for my thoughts to take a turn so it can make its move. but i'm fighting this time. well, fighting better than i have in the past. i almost gave in sunday.. and yesterday was a fight.. today has been one too. i did give in enough to make an appointment with my doc. i'll see her next wednesday. i am incredibly lonely. that is what is getting to me. and terrified of next steps. everyone keeps saying to me "where there's a will, there's a way" well.. when you are battling an illness such as mine sometimes even the greatest of wills can't find their way. i *did* finally pony up the 25.00 and joined match dot com.. we'll see how it goes. and today i got my butt to the why oh ymca and worked out for the first time in months. hopefully the battle will get easier after the lcbordc meeting on thursday, hopefully i'll be able to find out what all has been going on and where i can plug my time in.
next week should be somewhat easier. i'm headed to portland on tuesday to table at an event. also tuesday i might very well head to salem for a public hearing about the oregon resolution (hopefully it didn't happen today and i didn't hear about it!). sometime next week i'll go to the play that is being put on here as a fundraiser for the lcbordc. oh and this saturday i'm gonna head over to whytekittens house to see dragonflymn and her kids. that will be nice :)
the lane county fair is going on this week. if i had someone to go with i might very well go, but i don't. thats life. anyhow, it probably costs more money than i'm willing to spend. last year there was an e-coli outbreak, its about all the news can talk about *roll eyes*.. i really am starting to take this stance against all the things we are told to do in order not to get sick, in order not to be killed, in order to, in order to, in order tooooooo.... make our lives safer... but in that making our lives more safer i think we are only sterilizing ourselves in an already sterile world. yes. i leave my car unlocked when i go into places. yes, i leave my apartment unlocked too. no, i don't wear sun block, wear my sealt belt all the time, or use anti-bacterial soap. i listen to the news during their warning-about-new-dangers segments to figure out ways to avoid doing what it is they are telling me to do. i think this really all started when they started to air the commercials about how to keep your family safe from terrorism and i realized how paranoid the country in which i live really is. if its going to happen, its going to happen and no matter what i do in order to make it not happen, i can't make it stop. i have to live my life. and yes, i do wear a helmet when i go biking, and if i ever boat again i'll wear my lifejacket.. but those are precautions *i choose* to take. i'm not paying attention to the tv, i'm paying attention to what is right for me.
on that note, i'm outta here.
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