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wish i may
i might
make a wish upon a star tonight..
email.
me.
i'm brooke. a short, fatish, bisexual, feminist, pacifist, very-liberal activist. i have 4 cats. and 2 computers, 2 kayaks, 1 masters degree, multiple backpacks, and way too many books.
i live in the most beautiful eugene, oregon. i'm currently disabled due to treatment resistant severe depression. i've been blogging since election day of 2000.
i'm born and raised in the mountains of southwestern virginia. i could join the daughters of the american revolution, i don't think they'd like me cause i hear they like to throw tea parties instead of rallies and revolutions.
links.
lane co. bill of rights defense committee (lcbordc) ~
bill of rights defense committee ~
chel ~
lisa ~
carrie ~
cinnamon
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Sunday, August 31
i am up late tonight. i have no reason not to be.. nothing to get up for in the morning. no one expecting me for anything. no one ever expecting me for anything.
i'm trying to figure out what is next in my life. do i go to law school? i have 3 days to make the decision about whether to take the lsat in october. i don't want any more debt. but law school costs a lot of money. but i want to make a difference and i watch our lawyer make such a difference in all the work he does for various causes. such a difference i could make. but i don't want any more debt.
i want a family. but no one is interested in dating me. no one is interested in going to dinner with me, a movie, tea, deep conversations with me. i have no idea what is wrong with me, except that i'm fat but i see lots of fat people in love, with families.
i'm trying to stay as involved with the lcbordc as possible, but so much of that work is solitary. and that is lonely, and depressing. its just like the job i left. except for our weekly meetings.
i want to see the world, i want to live in another country. i want to live in a culture other than my own because i want to see humanity through different colored glasses.
i want to not be where i am right now. i don't want my 4 cats, yet i love them all and don't want to live without them. their 4 little lives entrusted to my life. stories of their apprehensiveness when i'm gone from them.. what would they do if i left them and never came back to hold them like they like to be held?
my life is in an uncomfortable holding pattern. i can sense great change coming and i have no idea if its for the better or worse.
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