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wish i may
i might
make a wish upon a star tonight..
email.
me.
i'm brooke. a short, fatish, bisexual, feminist, pacifist, very-liberal activist. i have 4 cats. and 2 computers, 2 kayaks, 1 masters degree, multiple backpacks, and way too many books.
i live in the most beautiful eugene, oregon. i'm currently disabled due to treatment resistant severe depression. i've been blogging since election day of 2000.
i'm born and raised in the mountains of southwestern virginia. i could join the daughters of the american revolution, i don't think they'd like me cause i hear they like to throw tea parties instead of rallies and revolutions.
links.
lane co. bill of rights defense committee (lcbordc) ~
bill of rights defense committee ~
chel ~
lisa ~
carrie ~
cinnamon
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Wednesday, May 28
oohh.. i feel great.
my grandfather has refused to seek treatment for his alcoholism. my mother has decided to detach from him. i have mixed feelings about it. i understand what my mother has been through with him and i have all sympathies for her situation... but my grandfather is depressed, very depressed. thats where my heart kicks in. i'm not sure what to do about the situation at this point. i'm going to talk to my therapist about it and i'm also going to talk to a friend of my mother's about it, a friend who is a licenced psychologist. i've talked to this friend of my mom's before about my own illness so i do have somewhat of a relationship with her.
to be honest, i don't exactly trust my mother's dealing with this situation with my grandfather as she doesn't exactly have the best track record in dealing with really bad-severe depression. these days as i'm feeling like shit and can't seem to do a damn thing i'm getting re-bitter about my growing up. and how my parents dealt with my illness as it exhibited back then. these days i need someone to blame, and i'm blaming them. yeah, i know its wrong. and yeah, they were good to me. but there were things here and there that have really impacted this illness. as each day passes by and i only feel worse i wonder what would have happened if they had seeked treatment for me back then. i wonder if my life wouldn't be the failure that it is.
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